Finding love in the ROTC
The stories of how married couples met at BYU vary greatly.
The pair could meet at a dance or in a student ward; even blind dates have been known to work out every once and awhile. For Derek and Lauren Rose, it was the Army ROTC that brought them together.
Derek Rose is from Tennessee and majoring in linguistics. Lauren Rose is from California and studying geography. From opposite ends of the country, these students were brought together training for the Army ROTC Ranger Challenge.
According to the university website, 26 percent of all BYU students were married as of Fall 2010. The Roses’ story may be one of the most unique of that 26 percent.
“We were in the same class,” Lauren said. “He came in before I was in college and then he left on his mission, then I came in and then he came back. I walked into class and I was checking out the dudes and I was like, ‘Hey alright,’ because there were a bunch of guys that had just gotten back from their missions.”
Being in the same year in the ROTC program placed the Roses in many of the same classes. Additionally, they chose to compete on the Ranger Challenge team.
“Initially it was a classmate, ‘Hi how are you?’ kind of a thing,” Derek said. “Then Ranger Challenge was ‘We sweat for an hour and a half, we’re teammates,’ kind of relationship.”
When asked if they began dating during the Ranger Challenge, both Roses begin to grin.
“Depends on how you define dating,” Lauren said. “You could say that we did.”
“It was more like sneak dating,” Derek said. “Cadets usually don’t date each other because in the military, there is a regulation against fraternization, so whenever we were in uniform together it was always teammate to teammate. Outside of that realm, when we put on our civilian uniform, we were people again.”
Army Regulation 600-20 very specific rules for relationships between soldiers, ranging from gambling to marriage.
Mike Lindsay, a senior from Chicago, majoring in biochemistry, was a member of the Ranger Challenge team with the Roses.
“I saw how it blossomed,” Lindsay said. “They were in the same squad working together constantly. When you are training together, working hard together, it brings people together and creates this bond.”
Lindsay knew Lauren before he knew Derek, and said he always had a great deal of respect for her because she always worked her hardest. This level of commitment and dedication was a quality that brought the Roses together.
“They just seemed to connect,” Lindsay said. “They both have the same goals.”
The Ranger Challenge team has a long history of success. BYU has won the Ranger Challenge 27 of the past 29 years. According to Derek, BYU dominates at every competition.
“We were on the co-ed team, obviously,” Lauren said. “None of the other schools had co-ed teams so it was us competing against our other team. We got third overall, which is good because we beat guys’ teams.”
After the competition, the Roses became more public with their relationship.
“Everyone thought it was cool,” Derek said. “Actually Lindsay, when she told him we were engaged he was like, ‘Oh now it always makes sense.’ He noticed that I always gave her rides, she always got into my car when we went to training. He was like, ‘OK I put the puzzle together.’”
The couple began officially dating in October, was engaged in March and then married in July in the Los Angeles Temple.
The Roses made it a priority to not let their relationship infringe on ROTC commitments.
“Last year I was teaching her combatives,” Derek said. “I don’t know very many couples that punch each other in the morning or give each other knee strikes to the stomach..."
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“They did a very good job of keeping their personal lives quiet,” Lindsay said. “When it came time to train they worked hard. They never let their relationship interrupt or interfere with cadet obligations and assignments.”
Capt. David Jungheim, scholarship officer for the BYU Army ROTC, was Lauren’s instructor as the couple was dating. Jungheim has noticed a trend among cadets.
“Usually when cadets get married they get better or worse, there is no middle ground,” Jungheim said. “According to test scores [the Roses] have both gotten better.”
Other cadets have taken notice of the couple.
“Last year I was teaching her combatives,” Derek said. “I don’t know very many couples that punch each other in the morning or give each other knee strikes to the stomach. So the Sandhurst team would come around the corner and the Roses would have rubber knives fighting each other on the ground. It was thoroughly entertaining for them. They’d just kind of think, ‘Well I guess they were made for each other.’”
Having someone close who understands the ROTC lifestyle has been nice for the pair.
“It’s fun,” Lauren said. “We can go home and talk about ROTC stuff and we both understand what each other is talking about. Other people have said that’s cool because we can talk to each other about stuff.”
Being in the same year in the ROTC program brings up interesting situations as far as chain of command.
“This past semester Lauren has held a higher position,” Lindsay said. “At semester it will actually flip flop. Their position doesn’t change how they treat each other. They are a good model for couples.”
Some may wonder how unique a “Ranger Challenge” couple is to the ROTC.
“My freshman year, a ranger challenge couple got married,” Derek said.
Lauren knew of two other couples who had gotten married. She said it has been nice because she and Derek are able to go everywhere and do everything together.
“It is definitely nice to have someone be on the same page,” Derek said. “They can appreciate why you get excited about certain things. This is beyond a profession. It’s a way of life and people either live it or they don’t.”
Originally published in the Daily Universe 11 January 2011.
Writer: Sara Picard