I am truly honored and delighted to be here with you on this joyous occasion. This ceremony is called commencement because you are about to commence, or begin, the next stage in your lives. Up to this point most of what you have done is prepare.
As you set out into the world, make choices, and take a specific path, will you wisely use the knowledge and training you have acquired at BYU and throughout your life thus far? Will you keep your focus on the important things in life?
I want to share a story with you.
Literary sleuth Sherlock Holmes and his trusty sidekick, Dr. Watson, were on a camping trip. They pitched their tent, unrolled their sleeping bags, fixed dinner, and then, after a good meal and a chat around the campfire, went to bed. In the middle of the night, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars,” rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
“What does that tell you?” Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute.
“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
“Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
“Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
“Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
“What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
“Watson, you fool! Someone has stolen our tent!”
President Theodore Roosevelt once counseled, “Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.”1 To that I would add, and don’t forget to watch the tent! These are three essential elements in your future that I would like to focus on as you begin this new phase of your life: the stars, the ground, and the tent.
The stars are your goals and aspirations—the possibilities open to you.
The ground is your beliefs, values, and character—your foundation and who you really are.
The tent is your family and friends—those you protect and support, and those who support you.
All three are important as you go forward to make the critical decisions that all of us face in our lives.
Keep Your Eyes on the Stars
As you face the choices ahead of you, remember to keep your goals and aspirations clear. The stars are a most appropriate symbol for our ambitions, our objectives, and our aims. Before we had the global positioning system (GPS) or a compass to guide our way, our ancestors navigated by the stars—particularly by the North Star, the Polar Star, because it is constant and immovable in the night sky.
American poet Robert Frost had a wonderful way of expressing this in his poem “Choose Something Like a Star.”2 He wrote:
So when at times the mob is sway’d
To carry praise or blame too far,
We may choose something like a star
To stay our minds on and be staid.
Remember when you choose your direction, keep your mind on your eternal goals—your stars—as your guiding principles to hold you steady.
Keep Your Feet on the Ground
As you start your careers, remember the composition of the soil you stand on—who you are and what you believe. Keep yourself firmly grounded in the values and ideals Latter-day Saints accept. Do not sell out your integrity for ambition or advancement. We have seen far too many negative examples in the last decade—businesspeople and politicians who have lied or fudged the facts to hide failings of personal morals or financial losses. Your honesty and integrity are the most valuable assets you bring to any career. Do not throw them away. Keep true to the values you have learned as a Church member and BYU student. We all remember the story of the foolish man who built his house on the sand of loose morals and improper planning. Be the wise person who carefully plans a solid, righteous foundation.
Remember, even the smallest, seemingly insignificant choices, can determine who you are and what you will become, so keep your feet firmly planted on the ground.
Don’t Forget to Watch the Tent
One reason I like the Sherlock Holmes story is the image of the tent—what better symbol of the family? In his work on the Book of Mormon, BYU Professor Hugh Nibley devotes considerable time to Nephi’s comment: “My father dwelt in a tent.”3 Nibley writes, “The tent is the family hearth, the common bond and something of the incarnation of the family.”4
As Latter-day Saints, we are committed to the family. Do not permit your career to take precedence over your family. There will be times when you will have to be away for business travel or to complete an urgent project that requires extra effort. But at the same time, make sure you devote to your family the effort, energy, and time necessary to be a success in the home.
And remember, time is an important part of that success. Do not be taken in by the myth that so-called “quality time” with the family can compensate for too little time with the family.
Clayton Christensen, a member of the Church who studies failing businesses, notes an analogy between troubled companies and troubled families.5
The question, he says, is what produces the greatest reward: “Do I work this weekend or spend it with the family?” Working extra hours for additional reward may bring in extra money for the mortgage or for the children’s college fund. Can’t that be seen as helping the family? Taking the children camping or to the park has a tangible cost in lost income. The benefits are more distant and diffuse.
Investment in our careers has an immediate and visible impact—I got the contract; I made the sale; I got the promotion. But time invested in a relationship with your spouse or an evening baking cookies or playing games with your five-year old does not have a publicly visible, tangible reward.
Because of this, Christensen says, “We subconsciously underinvest in our families.”6 Remember that investments in your family—in your relationship with your spouse and leadership for your children—have eternal rewards and eternal consequences.
As President David O. McKay said, “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”7
If you keep your eyes on the stars, feet on the ground, and watch the tent, does this mean that life will be easy, that choices will all be clear and simple, that conflict and difficulty will not arise? Unfortunately, no. While you are watching the stars, you may stumble or trip. While keeping your feet on the ground, you may step in mud or something worse. And a strong wind might threaten to blow the tent away. You will face difficult decisions and challenges. But such tests are the purpose of our lives.
My Experiences
I want to share with you some of my personal experiences with watching the stars, the ground, and the tent.
When my husband and I met in Boston and were married, we were both completing PhDs—his in international relations and mine in linguistics. When he finished, his best job offer was in Germany. Mine was an offer to do research at Stanford. We had choices to make. Because of my beliefs, values, and spiritual guidance, the choice was easy for me. I wanted to have a family, and it made the most sense for me to hold off on my career.
While raising our children, I tried to keep a hand in my academic field on a part-time basis. I taught at BYU one summer and part time at the University of Maryland, but quit to give birth to our third son.
Keeping up in the field of linguistics proved difficult with three very active boys and four major moves. It was not easy to compete against colleagues in my field who worked full time for many years while I was a full-time mother. In choosing to put my linguistics career on hold, I had chosen to give it up.
I worked very hard to earn that degree, and I was quite successful in my field before marrying and moving to Germany. Was I sorry for the choice I made? Not at all. My husband, my children, and now my grandchildren were, and are, the most important things in my life.
Eventually I did get an opportunity to have a second career—working for the United States House of Representatives. When the job was offered, my first reaction was that I didn’t have the right college degree.
In considering whether I could shift careers and work for Congress, I realized that many of the skills I had honed in college and after were transferable—like writing, conducting research, and making critical analysis. Although I did not have a degree in government, I had served in student government in college. I had always kept up with current events, and many experiences from Church callings were also helpful. Since my new job dealt heavily with international relations, my linguistics background, time in Europe, and extensive travel gave me a greater understanding of cultures, ideas, and issues.
Much of what we know comes not just from our formal education but also from our life’s experiences and knowledge we obtain beyond the classroom. William Butler Yeats is reputed to have said, “Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.”8 Learning must be an active and passionate pursuit of knowledge, not just the passive accumulation of information.
Even though you have earned your degree, your life’s education is not complete. I hope the education you received at BYU has ignited the love of learning and the passion for knowledge that will continue burning throughout your life.
As you begin this new phase of your life, you will have to be flexible and patient in balancing career and family. My life’s experience is a verification of one of my favorite scriptures, the counsel we are given in Ecclesiastes 3:1: “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Finding the season and purpose may require spacing goals with tasks in life.
Does this mean that everyone should do exactly what I did? Of course not; we are all different, and our circumstances will not be the same. Unfortunately, some choices will have to be made by necessity, not by desire. Each couple must work out decisions affecting their family together and with the help of the Lord. One size does not fit all.
You may be thinking, “Kay King is an unusual case.” I suspect that many of you who think you know exactly what you will be doing in your future, may be in for a surprise. You never know how things are going to work out.
The days of graduating from college, working for the same company, and getting a gold watch after twenty-five years are long past. A recent Department of Labor survey reported that workers—both men and women—had an average of ten different jobs by the time they were forty years old.9
Your future may involve change and challenges, but with the values and education you have acquired, you are well prepared to find great satisfaction and happiness.
If you keep your eyes on the stars, your feet on the ground, watch the tent, and seek spiritual guidance, you will be in a position to make the best decisions and take advantage of opportunities that will give you the greatest benefit from your education. You can then use that education to serve others and to achieve the goals that you and your Father in Heaven want you to achieve.
At BYU you have benefited from the character and reputation of the faculty and graduates before you. Now the reputation of BYU and the expectations of its graduates are in your hands; it depends on what you do from this point forward.
The world awaits you. As you go forward, remember the stars, the ground, and the tent.
_
Speech given by Kay Atkinson King
Illustration by David Habben
About the Speaker
Kay Atkinson King, PhD, is senior Democratic policy advisor on the House International Relations Committee and previously was chief of staff to Congressman Richard Swett (New Hampshire). She has taught at numerous universities, including American University, University of Maryland, BYU, UCLA, and the University of Utah. King has also been on the research staff at MIT and Harvard. Currently she chairs the Washington, D.C., Chapter of the BYU Management Society and is on the Marriott School’s National Advisory Council. She and her husband, Robert R. King, have three sons.
This article is adapted from King’s Marriott School Convocation address 12 August 2005.
Endnotes:
- Speech at Prize Day Exercises at Groton School, Groton, Massachusetts, 24 May 1904, cited at www.theodoreroosevelt.org/modern/trisland.htm.
- Robert Frost, “Choose Something Like a Star,” Come In and Other Poems, compiled by Louis Untermeyer (New York: H. Holt and Company, 1943).
- 1 Nephi 16:6.
- Albert de Boucheman, Notes on the Bedouins and Wahabys quoted by Hugh Nibley, An Approach to the Book of Mormon (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Company and Provo, Utah: Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies, 1988), 245.
- Rich Barlow, “Weighing Investment of Time in Family,” The Boston Globe, 23 July 2005; www.boston.com.
- Ibid.
- Statement in Improvement Era, April 1964, Vol. 67 (June 1964), 445.
- This is one of the most widely quoted statements attributed to William Butler Yeats, found online at www.heartquotes.net/Education.html for example, but none of the frequent quotations of it give a source in any of Yeats’ written works.
- U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics, “Number of Jobs Held, Labor Market Activity, and Earnings Growth among Younger Baby Boomers: Results from More than Two Decades of a Longitudinal Survey,” Press Release, 27 August 2002. Online at ftp://ftp.bls.gov/pub/news.release/nlsoy.txt.
